Welcome to Reality

Oh my friends… welcome!

They say the foundation of all good relationships is honesty, so I’ve got to come clean:

It took YEARS for me to finally eek up the courage to create a stepparent blog/community/advocacy group. Don’t get me wrong: I know, for absolute certain, that there is a market out there. I have spent the last 3 years of my life trudging through it myself, in hopes of finding some little community sporting a shared reality.

I’m not so much worried that this group will fail to get off the ground. I mean… it absolutely could flounder. It could flop harder than my belly at the pool. But no matter the end result, I know that the simple act of reaching out is some modest catharsis.

No, no. The thing that scares me is… well… reality.

If you’re here, and you’re reading this, chances are you know that being a stepparent is HARD. Capital H. Capital A. Capital R. Capital D. HARD. And in the months I have spent talking to people, collecting data, researching- doing all of those responsible things one should do before deciding to blast their opinions and feelings all over Facebook- I have had to face up to some rather brutal truths regarding this world, and my parental place in it.

Now yes, I will be the first to tout the beauty of parenting. Try me. I can brag about my step-children for HOURS at any given time, much to the chagrin of those closest to me. And oh, how I have grown as a person since those little people came into my life. Part of this page is meant to be a platform for those of us wishing to share those magical parent moments.

But we don’t live in a fairy tale. So naturally, part of this page, must also be dedicated to those of us who have struggled, who have hurt, who have felt alone, or invisible, or unimportant. Those of us who might be at odds with biological parents… those of us who have raised children for years as our own, but still can’t do something as simple as sign permission slips… those of us trying to help children through divorce without finding ourselves cast as the enemy…. Those of us who can’t see our children on Mother’s Day or Father’s Day… those of us trying to make up for missing first words, first steps, first years….

Those of us who do our best, every day, but have to cry in the shower come bedtime because sometimes. It’s. Just. HARD.

My hope is that, over time, we can develop our own little community here. An open forum for friendships, conversations, perhaps coffee or wine dates. A place to go for advice, to vent, or for support.

My only request is that we keep things respectful. While we can always discuss the difficulties of co-parenting, for example, we will not tolerate the bashing of others (whether they are members of the page or not). Though difficult, it is our job to ever remain the bigger person, for the sake of ourselves, our partners, and our kids.

So, my dearest stepparents....

Welcome to Reality.

Come in, sit down, throw your feet up!

OH! And visit our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/TheEvilStepMomster/

Sincerest of Cheers,

The Evil Step-Momster